Thursday, January 13, 2005

i forgot what i was going to say

because it took so friggin long for my damn computer to open this damn page for me to post on. grrr. so yeah, i'm starting the day angry and frustrated. that's always good.

i like this posting font. it is very conducive to writing. makes me feel like its the Great American Novel. not that i want to write that. how passe. or whatever.

ok, so i was going to say...

alright, i feel bad for ashlee simpson. i mean, seriously. it is so sad. there is a petition to her record company to pull her contract because the public does not like her. how sad. i mean the poor kid is just trying to be a pop singer. she never pretended to want anything else. she started out acting on 7th Heaven for god's sake! she has accepted her cheesyness and so should we. i just feel bad.

ok so is anyone else worried about this weather? it can't be a good thing that it is 60 degrees in january. i mean i'm a conspiracy theorist way more than an armageddon enthusiast (as it were) but seriously, there have been some major changes to climate the past couple of years! plus the rotation of the Earth is faster! now i get the opportunity to say to my kids, "You know things were alot slower in my day" and really mean it.

so the beau. here's the thing. i really like this guy. and yet, here's the rub: he is clinically depressed with anxiety. and it manifests in the form of a lack of communication. meaning he doesn't call me all that often. i know i know. it sounds like a line. and i never would have believed it had i not been introduced to him by my roommate, a friend for 10 years. she vouches that his claims are true. and i believe him. he warned me on our first date that it would be difficult to date him and that perhaps i should not take it very seriously. but i can't help it. i want to be with him. and i guess i'm just going to have to deal with the baggage. we all have some after all.
however, the day-to-day of it all is very tough. especially because my coworker insists on reading me passages from that abominable self-help book,"he's just not that into you" and some of my still unconvinced friends keep trying to tell me that maybe he's not calling for a reason. well, i'm not having it. i trust him. i do. i want to work on this. i try to think of it like he is a long distance boyfriend that i get to see when he comes into town. but let me tell you, patience is not my virtue. i'm working on it but MAN. i just want to see him at least once a week. AT LEAST. and i don't think that's too much to ask. ok i'm going to handle this. a couple of weeks ago, around the holidays, he had a breakdown and I didn't hear from him for 3 weeks. I got impatient and I thought about using my god-given game to get another guy. and the whole time, all i could think about was my beau. and his sweet face. i may be naive. and i may be jaded. but i'm also stubborn. and i'm going to stick with this one cause my heart and my gut say so. no matter what else.

i always wanted some drama in my life. well now i got my own homemade Lifetime movie. i should be happy. and to the chagrin of Logic, I am. he's so worth it.


newsflash: if you're rich and i mean really really rich, you can treat people like shit all you want. oh yeah. and apparently this pasttime is very fun. bastards.


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