life is life is life

i am afraid to tell people what i am thinking
so my eyes shift
close
open
i want to shout my frustration from the rooftops
but instead i pause
appease
placate
nervously i change the subject
trying my best to be an adult and yet i feel
annoyed
estranged
suffocated
powerless

all the while...
i have never felt more alive
i realize the ridiculousness of the world around me
i feel my inner, secret joy
the excitement creeps up from my toes
my smile is contagious
i want
i want
i want
ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING