Tuesday, May 29, 2007

please don't leave me

i can feel it now. i am going not so quietly insane.
bit by bit i lose myself.
lost in the anger and frustration, in the outbursts and the tears. i am terrified and in anguish.
i am thrown by the waves of emotion. i float from mood swing to mood swing, the bile rising in my throat, a warning of my next overreaction.
i can feel every nerve in my body shaking, crying out. i feel stripped like a live wire, waiting for any unlucky conductor to set me off.
and the worst of it is:
i fear that this behavior, this slow and gradual deterioration of my mind, this explosion of electricity that i call my emotional state might just drive away the only man that has ever loved me in my entire life.
so i hold onto the life raft of my sanity.
hoping i can find some logical conclusion,
while my self drifts away into sea, lost forever.


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