this is the church. this is the steeple. open the doors and you'll find all the people

i've always had trouble with religion. the way it creeps in just when sad things happen. as a crutch. the way it always seems so false. and becomes so political. or is that just the time we live in?
i find comfort in religion. in the idea that communities of people make each other feel better by collecting and worshipping God together.
and yet the reality of it is never like that. it is all judgement. using God for the sake of making people too afraid to be bad. shock them into having good character and morals. use the power of the public eye to convince them to shy away from crime.
when did leading by example go by the wayside? when did patience and calm and acceptance become passe? when did we stop trusting each other and ourselves?
we are an isolated people now. struggling to pretend we are a bonded community, using God as the glue. and what about those of us who can find no solace in the crowd? who see nothing but strangers' faces in the church halls? who feel most out of place in the place where we should all be welcomed?
God's house - where is that? i prefer to think of all the world as God's house. every moment a chance to disappoint God, or hopefully to make Him proud. pleased that this idea He has spun into reality occasionally sparkles with success.
I think God understands the ebb and flow, the balance of all the world better than anyone. it was His idea after all.
if only He could get me to understand how my deference for Him and His creation could be manifested in a community way. i wouldn't mind finding a roof under which I felt comfortable enough to praise Him. but as of yet I do not. perhaps I am too moderate for the world at large. but i really think we all deserve a chance. to be ourselves.