is this really happening?

ok so i am so happy. more happy than i have ever been.
and it is because of this boy. despite all of the tough things about him, all of the time i spend waiting for him, hoping he's okay - he is so worth it. he is just the most amazing, talented, inspiring individual i have ever met.
i saw him on saturday and we spent a low key evening hanging out in his apartment during the blizzard. and we discussed the movies I had just seen (I has just watched Harry Potter 3 which i got from Netflix, and on Friday night, i saw Life Aquatic) and he told me all about the Marx brothers and then showed me one of their movies, Animal Crackers. he's so great. he says if i'm going to be a comedian, then i should know the history of comedy and he's taken it upon himself to teach me. he is, after all, the most qualified for the job - he is an acting teacher.
i just love being with him.
and i can't believe how lucky i am to have found him. i am smitten out of my mind. i have never been like this. its friggin GREAT. its crazy - this is love, isn't it?

how about that monsoon?

so there was really no reason to do my hair this morning. or to have taken the good umbrella. all moot. my hair is all messed up and frizzy and the good umbrella is kind of broken. and by kind of i mean totally. totally broken. and i stole it from my roommate. man, she's going to kill me. but at least she won't feel bad when she breaks mine.

yeah, so weather is my absolute FAVORITE topic.

or not.

i hate talking about the weather. its the most insulting smalltalk ever. i mean, you can't come up with anything else to say?! its like when you tell someone a joke and instead of laughing they say "that's funny." no its not funny. because if it was funny, you would have laughed. seriously.

i love this song

i am listening to Where is My Mind? by the Pixies. It makes me so happy.

i forgot what i was going to say

because it took so friggin long for my damn computer to open this damn page for me to post on. grrr. so yeah, i'm starting the day angry and frustrated. that's always good.

i like this posting font. it is very conducive to writing. makes me feel like its the Great American Novel. not that i want to write that. how passe. or whatever.

ok, so i was going to say...

alright, i feel bad for ashlee simpson. i mean, seriously. it is so sad. there is a petition to her record company to pull her contract because the public does not like her. how sad. i mean the poor kid is just trying to be a pop singer. she never pretended to want anything else. she started out acting on 7th Heaven for god's sake! she has accepted her cheesyness and so should we. i just feel bad.

ok so is anyone else worried about this weather? it can't be a good thing that it is 60 degrees in january. i mean i'm a conspiracy theorist way more than an armageddon enthusiast (as it were) but seriously, there have been some major changes to climate the past couple of years! plus the rotation of the Earth is faster! now i get the opportunity to say to my kids, "You know things were alot slower in my day" and really mean it.

so the beau. here's the thing. i really like this guy. and yet, here's the rub: he is clinically depressed with anxiety. and it manifests in the form of a lack of communication. meaning he doesn't call me all that often. i know i know. it sounds like a line. and i never would have believed it had i not been introduced to him by my roommate, a friend for 10 years. she vouches that his claims are true. and i believe him. he warned me on our first date that it would be difficult to date him and that perhaps i should not take it very seriously. but i can't help it. i want to be with him. and i guess i'm just going to have to deal with the baggage. we all have some after all.
however, the day-to-day of it all is very tough. especially because my coworker insists on reading me passages from that abominable self-help book,"he's just not that into you" and some of my still unconvinced friends keep trying to tell me that maybe he's not calling for a reason. well, i'm not having it. i trust him. i do. i want to work on this. i try to think of it like he is a long distance boyfriend that i get to see when he comes into town. but let me tell you, patience is not my virtue. i'm working on it but MAN. i just want to see him at least once a week. AT LEAST. and i don't think that's too much to ask. ok i'm going to handle this. a couple of weeks ago, around the holidays, he had a breakdown and I didn't hear from him for 3 weeks. I got impatient and I thought about using my god-given game to get another guy. and the whole time, all i could think about was my beau. and his sweet face. i may be naive. and i may be jaded. but i'm also stubborn. and i'm going to stick with this one cause my heart and my gut say so. no matter what else.

i always wanted some drama in my life. well now i got my own homemade Lifetime movie. i should be happy. and to the chagrin of Logic, I am. he's so worth it.

...

newsflash: if you're rich and i mean really really rich, you can treat people like shit all you want. oh yeah. and apparently this pasttime is very fun. bastards.

my first post

so i've always been kind of against blogs. i thought they were a stupid fad. but like many other fads, i have succumbed. and suddenly, like leg warmers, they seem like a good idea.

so i've been reading some blogs, and while i don't think my life is really exciting enough to talk about in such a forum as the worldwide web, i figured it'd be a good writing exercise for me, and a good place to put my frustrations.

you see, i don't own a computer. i only have one at work. thus, most of my emails and online posts have an underlying anger to them. i am a receptionist after all.

but i am working toward being a comic here in New York. and i figure having this day job just provides me with bucketloads of material (notice i didn't say money...) and i got to work it out somewhere.

so working in the corporate world of New York City, I've pretty much mastered the art of the jaded, sarcastic, self-important receptionist. while i am at work, i hate the world and am aghast and appalled and their behavior. but i'm just as much of a bitch as the rest of them, and i do get a paycheck every once in a while so i figure all is fair in love, war, and the office. well, not really. some of our clients are truly evil. mostly rich. much like the rulers of our country. ah, but i digress...

hold on. cute salesman just walked in...

mmm. boys. delicious.
speaking of which, i am presently dating one of the most interesting men I have ever met in my life. he's pretty amazing. he's smart, cute, an inspiration to me, and barring further investigation, he seems to like me. in the future, i will tell you a myriad things in this world that i hate but this boy is not one of them. no sir.

so that's about it. i figure i'll pop on every once in a while to tell about an adventure, to try out a joke, or just to bitch. but i hope this blog things turns out to be worth it. nothing ventured nothing gained i guess.

This is me at my friend Margaret's birthday party.