Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Christianity Republican-style

i just received an email forward from one of my aunts. in it was a picture of Jesus and the caption: "HE is the only one that can save this country from the liberals that want him removed from the government. Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our government as the atheists want." The email goes on to say that it is a test, that if we delete this email, we are not respecting God and what he wants.
Oh lord.
How is it okay to use God to drive politics? How does Jesus like it that you are standing up for him and telling people that he's going to abandon them if they don't respond to your politics? How does that make you a good Christian?
Our country was built by people who ran away from their country to escape religious persecution. They wanted to create a country that was built on the ideals of freedom and respect. But we have lost both of those if we choose to force "Christian" doctrine on everyone in this country.
Religion is about community and kindness and finding personal solace. Its not about forcing someone to "believe" that Jesus loves conservatives. I hope they know that.
What about all of the people who are Americans who are not Christian? or even those Christians (like myself for example) that don't subscribe to such conservative, closed-minded views? What will they do with them? Do they lose their say in everything? Will this become the Christian States of America? Because you know, I think Jesus is a great guy, a nice guy, who accepted everyone. But I just can't stay here if this us a country forcing religion down our throats. People fought for the separation of Church and State for a reason, you know. Have you learned nothing from history? hell, from the present religious wars that are wracking the world? Will we be next?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

sensitive melissa loves jeff mac

Dear Jeff Mac,

My name is Melissa and I am a sophomore at St John's Prepatory in Fairbanks, PA. I am your biggest fan. I actually started the Jeff Mac official fan club (only cool people allowed). I found your blog on the world wide web one day when I was researching for a paper in my history class. I was searching for information on Bernie Mac . The paper was on influential African Americans in history and I really like his show - but don't worry, there is NO COMPETITION. You are way funnier than Bernie. Plus, you are superhott. And you know what? I like things too. I like comedy and Connecticut and computers. But most of all, I love America's Next Top Model. It is my most absolute favorite show ever. And I love reading your reviews. I really think you and I are perfect for each other because we can hang out at your apartment in Brooklyn and watch that show every day if you want. But first, you're going to have to get rid of your girlfriend because she does not love you like I do. No one does. No one would kill themselves for you. Every day I listen to Kelly Clarkson and think about how you and I should be together forever and how that bitch is in our way. She better watch out. And don't even think about cheating on me with Tyra Banks because I heard she only likes rich guys. Not me. I love poor guys, especially funny ones. And you are very funny. And I promise, once I am old enough to come to a bar and my parents let me go to New York City on my own, I will go to your show, No Hitting, every week. I'll even work the door! But I promise to pay you because it just wouldn't feel right to see such a GREAT show for free. I have plenty of money anyway because my dad's a proctologist. He wants to meet you by the way - he says if I have a boyfriend, then he should know who he is. I think so too.
Oops, got to go. Mrs. Lahey is handing out pop quizzes. Please write back. I love you.

Melissa Schafer Mac
president of the Jeff Mac official fan club (only cool people allowed)

Saturday, April 16, 2005

the open road

i just drove home to my parents house from NYC. and it was so exhilirating. I love driving - it releases me. when a person is driving, they must be in the past, present and future all at once. such a position of power. and control. I drove fast with lizmary listening to good music very loud talking about life. that's a good day.

Friday, April 15, 2005

what i do

i have reignited an old crush. it may not be a good idea but i'm enjoying toying with the idea...


so much is going on. on monday my sister finally had her second baby, Riley. he was born at 5:23pm. i was there right up until the pushing because apparently i was too horrified watching the first birth, my sister kicked me out this time. that and my mom had her face all twisted and traumatized. so we were sent to the waiting room. that sucked. but she had a beautiful baby boy. now she has a house full of boys. she, her husband Jay (who was so great in the delivery room, I want him to be there when I have a baby), Jake(my sweet sweet first nephew who has a thing for soft legs), and now, Riley. Riley has huge eyes and he's very quiet. Just like his brother. Kelly's lucky they're both so mild-mannered. But then again so are she and Jay. I am going home today to spend the weekend with the fam to help take care of the new babe and give Kelly some rest. and to hang with Georgia. she and I are going to take Jake out to Toys R Us to get him a birthday gift as we both haven't yet and his bday was March 21st. it should be a fun weekend. and its going to start today when i leave the office to go meet liz dembrowsky who i will road trip with tonight. its been a while since our last road trip. the last time we drove the police car (one of her family's various projects, an old 50s police car) from chicago to boston with no radio. instead we read "The Princess Bride" aloud from the backseat or sang whatever we could think of at the top of our lungs. I think we also had a boombox with some Ani in it as well. that car shook alot. that's about all i remember from the trip. but i know it was fun. this one will be too.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

there is no escape

a sentiment brought to me by elizabeth mary keeps ringing in my head. the idea that we are who we are and we cannot escape it no matter what we do. this can be disheartening but it can also be empowering. and right now i am realizing this as a truth. that i am who i am. i guess what is most interesting is that i am just now getting in touch with who that is. i was always there, doing what i do, but always trying to be something else. thinking that maybe it was outside stimulus that developed in me the bad qualities that i hate so much about myself. but i think it might just be me. and i don't mean that in a self-deprecating way. i don't hate myself. i have alot of admirable qualities too. but i am, of course, preoccupied with the hateful qualities. now, by accepting who i am, i will not give up my constant quest to be better. but i think i've been a little too hard on myself. i give my friends alot of slack for their less than great qualities. in fact, some of them i love them all the more for their little quirks and faults. and there are so many more important things to worry about. but really, one of the hardest things for me (and probably for everyone else too) is to be nice to people. all the time. i just can't. i'm angsty and angry and annoyed. but i can try. try to take care of as many people as i can. be as sweet and kind as possible. it is in my nature to be warm and maternal and in every single one of my friendships, i take on that role. but i have to remember all the time not to go overboard (another fun fault: extremist, anyone?) and to remember to take care of myself. i need an appropriate way to reduce stress, to motivate myself, to get up in the morning. this is not to say that i don't enjoy myself on my good days. i'm cheery and charming and comforting. i am happy and satisfied with my life as i have crafted it thus far (as much as one designs their own lifepath, that is). i have a good outlook and an exceptional way of taking things in. i am occasionally tickled by my own thoughts. i like me. but as a whole, i'm tough. i'm intense. i'm a ball of energy going everywhere at once and to be honest, i don't know how to take me sometimes. but i am all i've got. forever. i wonder, will i always be so crazy? or will i eventually settle into myself? i'm hoping for a revelation at 30. i'll let you know how it goes.

Sunday, April 10, 2005


my life is an 80s rock music video with moments of Catholic fire-and-brimstone doctrine throughout.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Confetti wisdom

"He kinda shoulda sorta woulda loved her if he could've./ The story's getting closer to the end./ He kinda shoulda sorta woulda loved her if he could've./ He'd rather be alone than pretend./ She just wanted him to love her but he didn't./ He took to the woods and wandered in it./ Walked along and on until they couldn't./ Stole himself to tell her that he wouldn't."
-The Lemonheads

Friday, April 01, 2005

why is it that we feel we have to be perfect all the time? why is it that everything around me tells me that if i try hard enough, that I, like many others, can have a perfect existence. but the truth is, life is fraught with pain and misery and loneliness right along with all the good stuff. but it happens all at once and i can't help but wonder why it is that we tell ourselves that this utopian existence is attainable and that this confusing, jumbled one we live in is not good. i like it. there is bad, sure, but there is so much good. and if i can only hope... but what am i hoping for? even the most amazing relationships have their ups and downs. they are just as crazy as life itself. what do i want to happen? and why is it that it never happens how i imagine it, but its good anyway. i love life and i hate life all at once. but it really bothers me when friggin commercials promise me perfection. nope. wierd shaped, bespectacled, vain and pretty me is going to be okay. i got issues, sure.